彼はゲイではない、私は彫り物をしていない―今のところは

　ブリティシュ・カンウンシルの課題で、部下Carlが腕に彫り物をしたのを知ったMarinaが、勤務時間中はそれを覆うように警告しましたが断られて･･････という話の続きをゴシップ誌調で書くように、といのがありました。下記がその全文ですが、これを読んだ講師アンディから｢君は、彫り物をしているの？｣と訊かれました。そうでないからこそ、「彫り物をして何が悪い？」という擁護論を面白おかしく書けたのですが。

　私は私で｢アンディってゲイ？｣と密かに思っていました。先週も、「ホームズとワトスンは長年の同居人で、友人でもあるのに――」と言いかけたら、｢それに恋人同士だし｣と突っ込みを入れられました。この類の冗談がやや多いように感じていたので、彼は①完全なノーマルであるため、安全圏からゲイを茶化している、②ゲイ（またはバイセクシャル）であることを暗に告白している、のどちらだろうと（次の米国大統領は、日本の総理は誰か、と真剣に考えるべきことは沢山あったにもかからわず）迷っていました。
　今日、彼の同僚に尋ねたら、今年だか昨年に、日本人とご結婚されたとのことでした。

TATTOOER'S NEEDLE CHANGES
A TALENTED YOUNG LIFE

MARINA EPSTEIN, WHO IS A CAREER WOWAN IN HER LATE-FORTIES, WORKS FOR A MEDIUM-SIZED AD AGENCY. SHE HAD BEEN SATISFIED WITH HER JOB AS A MANAGER AND HER STAFF, YET ONE DAY, ONE OF HER STAFF, CARL ZOLA , GOT A TATTOO ON HIS ARM.

'I was horrified when I looked at the tattoo on Carl's arm,' she said. 'What's more, he made no effort to hide it. I doubted his common sense! Naturally, I told him to keep it covered up during working hours. But the lad refused!'

'It's a matter of taste not sense,' said Carl Zola, age twenty-eight, who is a talented ad designer. He had been the pride of the office because he had won several ad design awards during the past few years. 'I got this tattoo in Japan during the summer holiday. There are people who got full-body tattoos there. They are super cool! My armlet is like a joke compared with them. Why did I get the tattoo, if I have to cover it?'

Marina sent Carl a warning letter. 'I wrote that unless you agree to cover the tattoo, you will lose your job.' But Carl also refused to cover it up. 'Unfortunately, I had to fire him,' she said, 'I admire Carl for his talent, but our clients include bankers and brokers. What would they say, if they see Carl's tattoo?'

Readers will not be surprised to hear that Carl went to Japan to study tattoos after leaving the office. And now, he works as an apprentice for a famous tattoo artist in Tokyo. It is said that he's studying Japanese ladies in depth as well.